I used my fine boyness, my nasty but beautiful afro mixed with my authentic accent to score a few nice chics-Emmy Collins

what avant-garde and versatile designer Emmy Collins who is rapidly gaining a reputation for mocking celebrities' red carpet outfits wrote on his blog about Uche Jombo's oufit to Rukky Sanda's movie premiere and Toke Makinwa.

This man is mean! *lol* What do you think?

• Uche Jumbo

I guess the fashion police just arrested this lady outside the event venue and rummaged through that hair hoping to find any atom of style hidden there.
They must have let her go when they saw a brick wall.

The fashion olokpas must have felt so out of luck, hehe.

Style is an alien word to this chic. However,I have been wowed by the most unlikely people at some
point in my life so I am still waiting with bated breath for Uche to shut me up with her styling someday.
I wouldn`t put any smart money on that happening any time soon though.

• Toke Makinwa

The first time Toke found herself in hot pepper soup on this forum was during her obvious failed attempt at stuffing this monstrosity called a dress down our throats.
However,she is back in trouble today not as a result of the outfit she had on but what she spewed out of her mouth in a recent interview.

I have managed to purposefully boycott any news relating to Toke of late as I honestly don`t fathom why she has to be in the news.
Well, I have mentioned unequivocally in the past that once you set out to bleach the beautifully skin you inherited from God then you have proven beyond any reasonable doubt that you are insecure so Toke has since entered my black book as an insecure young lady.

By saying that she acquired the British/American accent during the JUST one year she spent in UK because she didn`t want to come across as a “SAVAGE” is further proof that this young lady needs counselling to build up her sense of self belief.

Let me tell you a short story.

Back in the 90`s , there used to be an American military base in the Dutch town of Zest located on the outskirts of Utrecht and near the town of Gouda.
If you are a lover of cheese, then you must have heard of Gouda as Gouda cheese is amongst the best in the world; stinkingly yummy, lol..

Anyway, there was a nightclub called Pinocchio which was frequented by Black Americans from the base and of course Africans most especially Nigerians (Naija no dey carry last nah).
Now, the major attraction to this club is the chics, YUP, chics. Any white chic who wanted to taste what a brother had, partied out there.

The prevailing accent then was American so every Nigerian including those with tribal marks and those straight out of main market Onitsha made efforts to sound American and boy, the most disgusting sound I ever listened to in my life was to listen to these confused Nigerians trying to speak with an American accent just to get the chics.

Me?

I used my fine boyness, my nasty but beautiful afro mixed with my authentic accent  to score a few nice chics.
In fact I scored more chics than all the fake asses. And oh, did I forget to mention that even a few Somalians who just came straight off the boat and miswaka-ed into the club also tried to come off as Americans?

 Now, imagine the scene. A local Somalian faking American and genuinely thinking he pulled it off? I used to have an American buddy from the base and one day he said to me “why are my Nigerian brothers not proud of their accent. I hang with you because you keep it real,bro”

Well, the moral of my short story is that fake accent doesn`t get you too far.
People will always smell your fakeness from miles away.

Savage my skinny ass. Fake accent, fake skin colour? Now, that is too much fakeness in one person,Tokstarr.