TOUCHING LOVE STORY: Husband who kept vigil by his wife's grave everyday for 20 years dies

 

When Rocky Abalsamo's wife died in 1993, part of him died too.Out of sadness and longing, he would hold vigil by her grave site at St. Joseph Cemetery in West Roxbury all day, every day, rarely eating or drinking and weathering all temperatures and conditions.

Now, over 20 years after his beautiful Julia 'Julita' passed away, Rocky 'Roque' continues to sit next to his beloved, after being buried in the plot next to her.Rocky died on Janaury 22 at Stonehedge Health Care Center in West Roxbury after several months of declining health.He was 97.

They met as teenagers in a cafe in their native Buenos Aires. Rocky was sitting with his back to Julita when he overheard her talking with friends “about the soul, about life, goodness,” Even before seeing her face, he decided, “This is for me. I must know her.”

He said he fell in love with her “not because she was” – he made the symbol for an hourglass figure with his hands – “but she was,” he added, making the gesture again. “She was pure love. Her beauty was a gift apart, a reward.”

They shared a first kiss on Sept. 16, 1937, a date he celebrated annually. They married the following April. After their daughter Angela, they had a son, Roque Jr.Rocky worked for three decades as a civil engineer while Julita tended their family. They followed their children to the United States in 1971 and settled in Boston a year later

Rocky and Julita had been married for 55 years when she died in 1993 of complications after heart surgery. Distraught, he began spending his days at St. Joseph Cemetery.

 

“She is part of me, so here I am whole,” he said. “Being here makes me feel better. Not good, but better. I do it for Julita, and for myself.”
Among the belongings he carried daily to the cemetery was a photograph of a lovely woman with green eyes and dark hair. On the back, she had written: “Today the sky smiles to me. I see you. You look at me. Today I believe in God. With all my love, Julita.”

The Globe’s 2000 story, headlined “Endless Love,” described Rocky’s ritual:

“On cold days Rocky wears a patched and faded green parka. He owns other coats, but Julita knew this one best, so he will not change. He greets Julita — ‘I am here!’ Then he unfolds a blue beach chair — he leaves it every night against her headstone — placing it on a piece of plywood to keep it from sinking into the soft earth. Then Rocky relaxes, reading, writing, and reflecting. For exercise and to keep warm, he walks around nearby headstones engraved Cicciu, St. Clair, Doyle, Galvin, and Daley.
“He rarely eats or drinks, in part out of respect but also so he does not need a bathroom. On special occasions he toasts Julita with sparkling cider; he will do so Dec. 20, her birthday. Some days he brings a cassette player. On one tape they sing together, a Spanish lullaby. Rocky’s strong tenor is answered by Julita’s sweet soprano. Hearing Julita’s voice brings a smile to his face, a mist to his clear blue eyes.
“When dark comes, Rocky prays. He sprinkles crumbs on the grave, so chipmunks will keep Julita company after he has gone. Sadness returning, he says goodbye. He rubs her name on the red granite stone. The ritual has left an indelible mark.”
Over time, what began as a personal act of mourning touched dozens of others who came to the cemetery. Former strangers brought him meals, boots, hats, and scarves, and they decorated Julita’s grave with plants, ceramic angels, flags, and stuffed animals. He told them stories and shared his wisdom about life and love.

 

Rocky continued his daily pilgrimage until 2005, when his son was killed in a car crash in California. Although he still visited Julita’s grave regularly, Rocky spent more time with his surviving family members.

“I think he had a realization at that point that we need to let go and we need to continue to live,” his daughter said.

His last visit was in July, before he fell ill.

Source: Boston Globe